Far Cry 2008

(Generic spoilers ahead!)

 

ge·ner·ic  \jə-ˈner-ik, -ˈne-rik\ = (adj) applicable to, or referring to all the members of a genus, class, group, or kind; general.

The movie Far Cry was directed by Uwe Boll, A.K.A ‘The master of disaster’. It has very little to do with the similarly named game.

Normally at this point I would add “And that’s all you’ll ever need to know” and be done with it.

After that I could get off my computer and do more productive stuff, like inventing a cure for cancer, plotting world domination or trying to lick my own elbow. However, it has been a long time since I added anything useful to this blog so here goes.

“Far Cry” or 'Thatmoviewithalotofgermanreferences' is something that certainly lives up to its B-movie reputation. As mentioned before it is supposedly based on the similarly named game. But those similarities are dismissable. Yes, it’s on an island and there are super-soldiers lead by a crazy scientist. But that’s about it. 

This movie contains a generic plot, it really felt like Uwe Boll didn’t want to take any chances. All the movie elements  are ripped from previous ones we’ve all seen before. A mad scientist invents a super-soldier? A retired spec ops soldier that doesn’t want to fight, but has to regardless? The fat guy that brings comic relief? Check. Check. Check. Does it guarantee a generic plot? Yes. Does it contain lots of done to death clichés? Yes. Is it a bad thing? Surprisingly no, not necessarily.

Jack. Hawaiian shirt also included.

You see, the plot goes as follows: A journalist (Valerie) and an ex-spec ops soldier (Jack) try to find and rescue a friend (Max) who is leaking top-secret information about the super-soldier project.

Valerie is American but Jack is German thus has a distinct accent. (Un?)fortunately he isn’t the only one. Throughout the movie we encounter a lot of Germans who try to replicate an American accent. Normally I would love listening to people desperately trying to emulate an accent (and hilariously failing), but in this movie I just felt pity for them. At times I wished I could just reach out to the screen say to them “Just say it in German, don’t stress yourself out”. Maybe I have a soft spot for Germans?

Let’s not forget that the director Uwe Boll is German. That might be the reason behind these funny accents,  the 4 Volkswagens in the movie, the fact that the protagonist is from Germany, the villain’s  name “Krieger” which means “Warrior” in English and the recurring word “Tishtennis”.

Max (the guy that leaked info) gets caught by the mad scientist and they turn him into a super-soldier as well. Of course at this point we are treated to a brief surgery scene that is somewhat graphic but totally justified. Yuck. Just like the cliché dictates.

As Jack and Valerie try to meet up with Max, it becomes apparent that they have walked into a trap. Of course they are surrounded by lots of angry looking soldiers with big guns. They escape this trap with excessive shooting and making stuff explode all over the place. And yes, it is a generic shoot-out from beginning to end. You know, endless shooting without reloading, explosions etc. One mentionable scene involved hand grenades. 

“You’re supposed to pull the pin woman, because otherwise they won’t explode!” –Jack.

Krieger and Valerie discussing... stuff

Later they try to infiltrate the military complex but get caught. At this point the journalist meets the mad scientist (Krieger) and discovers that he wants to sell his super-soldiers to the highest bidder.

This scientist is like a generic shout-out to the classic bond villain. You know, back when villains still had some class? He enjoys classical music (as all ‘classy’ villains do) and likes painting. But later it is revealed that his “painting” actually contains the formula to create the perfect super-soldier. And no, I am not dropping a doctor Mengele reference here.

Chernov: she won't be missed

Meanwhile Jack (with some fat bloke) escapes, shoots some more soldiers, blows up some boats and shoots even more soldiers. And yes, the super-soldiers escape from their cells and join the fray. What makes them super? They are bullet resistant and have superhuman strength. Also, they look kinda grey-ish. And to can only be killed by shooting them in the head or the mouth (or in Call of duty- speak HEADZZSHOTZ!). Max, the super-soldier  turned friend has a change of heart (as most generic action movies have) and kills Chernov, the second in command of Krieger . She’s a bitchy bitch woman with a German accent. Max dies a heroic death seconds later. 

But of course, the protagonists manages to escape the island. The scientist tries to flee (reminiscent of some Nazi-general escaping at the end of the war to Argentina) but gets killed by his own super-soldiers. 

IRONY, MUCH? 

Anyways, it wasn’t the worst movie nor the best. I was too bland for that. Too gray. But I couldn’t stop watching for some reason. It was like watching a car-crash in slow motion. You could actually see the quality of the movie flying through the windshield!

Tldr; Generic action movie