(Generic spoilers ahead!)
ge·ner·ic \jə-ˈner-ik,
-ˈne-rik\ = (adj) applicable to, or referring to all the members of a genus,
class, group, or kind; general.
The movie Far Cry was directed by Uwe Boll, A.K.A ‘The
master of disaster’. It has very little to do with the similarly named game.
Normally at this point I would add “And that’s all
you’ll ever need to know” and be done with it.
After that I could get off my computer and do more
productive stuff, like inventing a cure for cancer, plotting world domination or trying to lick
my own elbow.
However, it has been a long time since I added anything useful to this blog so
here goes.
“Far Cry” or 'Thatmoviewithalotofgermanreferences' is
something that certainly lives up to its B-movie reputation. As mentioned
before it is supposedly based on the similarly named game. But those
similarities are dismissable. Yes, it’s on an island and there are
super-soldiers lead by a crazy scientist. But that’s about it.
This movie contains a generic plot, it really felt
like Uwe Boll didn’t want to take any chances. All the movie elements are ripped from previous ones we’ve all seen
before. A mad scientist invents a super-soldier? A retired spec ops soldier
that doesn’t want to fight, but has to regardless? The fat guy that brings
comic relief? Check. Check. Check. Does it guarantee a generic plot? Yes. Does
it contain lots of done to death clichés? Yes. Is it a bad thing? Surprisingly
no, not necessarily.
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| Jack. Hawaiian shirt also included. |
You see, the plot goes as follows: A journalist
(Valerie) and an ex-spec ops soldier (Jack) try to find and rescue a friend
(Max) who is leaking top-secret information about the super-soldier project.
Valerie is American but Jack is German thus has a
distinct accent. (Un?)fortunately he isn’t the only one. Throughout the movie
we encounter a lot of Germans who try to replicate an American accent. Normally
I would love listening to people desperately trying to emulate an accent (and hilariously
failing), but in this movie I just felt pity for them. At times I wished I
could just reach out to the screen say to them “Just say it in German, don’t stress
yourself out”. Maybe I have a soft spot for Germans?
Let’s not forget that the director Uwe Boll is German.
That might be the reason behind these funny accents, the 4 Volkswagens in the movie, the fact that
the protagonist is from Germany, the villain’s name “Krieger” which means “Warrior” in
English and the recurring word “Tishtennis”.
Max (the guy that leaked info) gets caught by the mad
scientist and they turn him into a super-soldier as well. Of course at this
point we are treated to a brief surgery scene that is somewhat graphic but
totally justified. Yuck. Just like the cliché dictates.
As Jack and Valerie try to meet up with Max, it becomes
apparent that they have walked into a trap. Of course they are surrounded by
lots of angry looking soldiers with big guns. They escape this trap with
excessive shooting and making stuff explode all over the place. And yes, it is
a generic shoot-out from beginning to end. You know, endless shooting without
reloading, explosions etc. One mentionable scene involved hand grenades.
“You’re supposed to pull the pin woman, because
otherwise they won’t explode!” –Jack.
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| Krieger and Valerie discussing... stuff |
Later they try to infiltrate the military complex but
get caught. At this point the journalist meets the mad scientist (Krieger) and
discovers that he wants to sell his super-soldiers to the highest bidder.
This scientist is like a generic shout-out to the
classic bond villain. You know, back when villains still had some class? He
enjoys classical music (as all ‘classy’ villains do) and likes painting. But
later it is revealed that his “painting” actually contains the formula to
create the perfect super-soldier. And no, I am not dropping a doctor Mengele
reference here.
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| Chernov: she won't be missed |
Meanwhile Jack (with some fat bloke) escapes, shoots
some more soldiers, blows up some boats and shoots even more soldiers. And yes,
the super-soldiers escape from their cells and join the fray. What makes them super?
They are bullet resistant and have superhuman strength. Also, they look kinda grey-ish.
And to can only be killed by shooting them in the head or the mouth (or in Call
of duty- speak HEADZZSHOTZ!). Max, the super-soldier turned friend has a change of heart (as most
generic action movies have) and kills Chernov, the second in command of Krieger
. She’s a bitchy bitch woman with a German accent. Max dies a heroic death
seconds later.
But of course, the protagonists manages to escape the
island. The scientist tries to flee (reminiscent of some Nazi-general escaping
at the end of the war to Argentina) but gets killed by his own super-soldiers.
IRONY, MUCH?
Anyways, it wasn’t the worst movie nor the best. I was
too bland for that. Too gray. But I couldn’t stop watching for some reason. It
was like watching a car-crash in slow motion. You could actually see the quality
of the movie flying through the windshield!
Tldr; Generic action movie
